Reasons

ReasonsHow could this be ? When we first met you were my lover and my best friend. I’ve never felt something so, strong for no one like I did for you. You left me alone, now I’m empty and hollow inside. Now my heart is dead. 

Your the reason why I can’t breathe. It’s crazy that when your love swept you’ll do anything for the one you love. I’ll never gave myself to someone the way I gave myself to you. Right now I’m so, caught up on my feelings. 

It’s a hard pill to swallow but, I can’t get over. I regret the day I woke up that day when, you told me it was over. How can your love end for me? Your the reason I can’t stop waiting for you to come back. I know I should fight the pain but, you told you will always be there for me. Why you want to hurt me so, when you know I can’t let go. I didn’t picture this to be.  

   

You Accept Me Flaws and All

In your eyes I’m your queen. Even though Im a train wreck, you catch me when I fall. I know I can be bitch and mean to you without warning. I don’t know why you love me, but you accept me flaws and all. I neglect you, but you don’t complain. Yes my love is a puzzle without having all the pieces in the box. You can see and feel my heart like no other. You see potential in us when people doubt us. That’s why I love you. You accept my flaws and all. 

I know I can be a pest to you when I want attention. I know I nag a lot. I know I give you a hard time. I’m a host of my imperfections, but you see pass all of that. You accept me flaws and all. 

Loving you so, is easy. 

HELLO AUGUST

Hello everyone, August has arrived, so I want to increase my followers. Please follow my Blog and I’ll return the favor!☺️💬💬💬😊 Thank You! http://www.natashalov.wordpress.com

Father’s Day

Happy Father’s Day to the wonderful Fathers out there. I believe that fathers are an important component in a child’s life. I never experienced that father and daughter bond with my own father. There are days I wished that I had that closeness with my father. Even though I have my father in my life. It’s not the same. He struggles with his own demons himself, maybe that can be a reason he can’t be the father that I need. At age 33 it’s a void in my heart, that I can never fill because he’s not ready to change his ways. 

Then there goes my son’s father what can I say without being negative about the situation. Well he’s my son’s father, is he the best father? My opinion NO. Who am I to judge right? Right! What can I do. My son is only 4 years old and his father has missed 90% of his existence. I try to be there for my son as much as I can, but I can’t be a father to him. I can only be his mother. I could only love, provide, and be there for him. I can’t be his father. 

Some single mothers might disagree with me and says like “I’m a mother/father.” Well that’s your opinion. My opinion I can’t show my son the male prospective view That’s impossible, only a father figure can do that. 

I don’t bash or talk negative about him in my son presence. Regardless I chose to have a child with this guy. Actually I encourage my son to call him to tell him he loves him regardless of the differences me and his father have. I even beg my son’s father to come around him and enjoy my son’s presence. Just to be there for him because I can’t show him the acts of life. 

Every time my son ask for his father and calls him he doesn’t pick up the phone. It breaks my heart. I feel like I keep breaking my son’s heart every time. I have days that I’m so emotional because I let my son down for giving him a father like that. I sit alone especially at night and cry. Not crying for this man to come back to me but crying that I hurt for my son. I know how it feels when a father is never there for you. You can’t enjoy having a father around you to say I love you. 

The mother that I am I’m not able to fill the void but, I’m able to put some positive men that love him. For that I’m grateful to God. Even though me and my father don’t have the best relationship he’s the grandfather to my son. My son loves his grandpa! My brother doesn’t have any kids but, my god he loves my baby like his own. These two impacted my son’s life in such a positive way. That I will always be in debt to them. 

On that note HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to the men who are there for their children also, provide for them. Especially love them, protect,them even if they’re not their own. Thank you ☺️ 

Starting Over

Through it all I’ve started over regardless of all the doubts that were in my mind. I wanted to believe this will change. Million of times I’ve trip over your love. Millions of times I felt trap and I couldn’t run for the fear of losing you. I use to think why I keep doing this to myself, knowing things will never change. I would fall to the floor when I couldn’t walk anymore because the pain was unbearable. I would cry I couldn’t find the way to escape from you hurting me it was constant battle with you. Today I have the strength to tell you I don’t want nothing to do with you. I don’t want to hear from you, and I don’t want you to heal my heart for your convenience. I just want to start over and find my happiness without you. I’ve learned from the scars you gave  my heart, I want to forget all the suffering you caused me. Where were you when my heart and soul was crying for you consistently? I want to love again, I don’t want to love alone anymore. It’s time to start over.